Nasties from Cyprus

 

 

We have been asked to do this page about nasties in Cyprus. Of course the official  line would be that "we don't have any" but of course we do, we all do, so below you will find a description and maybe some advice on how to avoid  or deal with them. To be honest, unless you get on a roll, where things run in sequence and compound with each event,there are not very many nasties in Cyprus, especially in comparison with other places. If you know of anything you wish to put here,  let us know.

Nasties Name

Characteristics

How to avoid  or deal with.

Mosquito

Annoying buzzing noise, emitted by pregnant female.
Nasty little bites.

In Cyprus we have small electric machines which you can plug into a socket near the window, pop in a pill which you can buy in most supermarkets, and this keeps them out (supposedly).

I find the best way to deal with them is a quick inspection before retiring with a good old fashioned fly swatter. Or the latest addition to my arsenal is an electric tennis racquet swatter, they buzz, you zap !

Frozen Chips

Ruins a good meal

Refuse to accept them.
Ask for real Cyprus potatoes. We grow and export them.

Mad taxi drivers.

Heart in mouth effect.

Ask them to slow down. If they won't, tell them that you are going to be sick, so could they please stop somewhere with a toilet so you don't mess up the upholstery. Then call another taxi and specify that you are a nervous passenger.

Earthquakes

Shaking ground,
rolly polly sick movement

Don't panic ! Just move away from tall objects that may fall on you. If you are indoors, get get outside, or under a strong piece of furniture.

Houses in Cyprus are built with reinforced concrete , supposedly with this problem in mind. When it stops, go to open ground.
There is often a bigger one after the initial smaller warning.

 Cockroaches

Huge brown guys,
endemic and rather like field mice.

They are not the small 'gosh it is filthy here' type....they are the 'eek I'm leaving NOW' big flying guys. Misunderstood and harmless they live in the fields and scuttle across floors. They also live in the drains and hence are called ' filthy' (Actually it's our filth they are living in...not known as carriers of disease they are dustmen).

There is a chemical weapon you can use against them called fly spray, probably more harmful to you than they are.

 Animal Cruelty & neglect.

Most children are taught to fear animals, so when they get in a position of power - watch out!

Bird decimation 

 

Don't look in peoples back yards. If you do and see pitifully thin, bored dogs... walk away or be prepared to fight it out with the authorities. There is not normally deliberate cruelty towards animal from adults, just ignorance, neglect and distrust.

The birds are not supposed to be lime sticked or glued anymore, however it still happens, despite protests to the contrary - If you see it -  Report it please - amberopoulia are those birds.

Hunting season will see men in full battle gear, stalking hares and hedgehogs in 4x4 comfort.
Most popular shooting spots are just by the signs designating ' nature reserves'
A good way to get rid of unpopular in laws, take 'em shooting. We lose quite a few people this way each year.

Bureaucracy

Drives you insane

A national pastime. You go to one office, submit the paperwork, then you are told to go to another office (often in another town) to get another paper, that office tells you to go to another office (often in another town) to get another paper, that office tells you to go to another office (often in another town) to get another paper, that office tells you they are closed, next day you start again. At the end of 2 weeks like this you are refused whatever it was you were applying for, either because you were given wrong information in the first place or the permit you were after doesn't exist anymore.

Bullshit

Wastes plenty of time

When looking for a particular item in the shops, if you ask at the door, you will be told 'Yes we have it.' When you get inside (possibly after coffee) you will be told' Ah, yes it is coming in next week. I tried it with camels - I asked 15 shops if they had camel. 12 of them had them coming in next week ! I am still waiting.

Artisans

More mess than they are worth

Get in a plumber, decorator, electrician, builder etc and you will be left with an incredible mess. The original job may be as simple as putting in a new plug or decorating the bit after they put in the new plug. The result may be a wonky, diagonal plug with an ill fitting top plate, your furniture and pictures splattered with paint spots and the drill hole debris etc to clear up afterwards.
     
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